Monday, June 3, 2019

Why are you in court today?

Can you believe it's already JUNE??  Time sure flies when you're having fun.  If you want to keep up with more frivolous lawsuits, here's a good website to follow:

Starting today and every Monday until the end of the year, I'll be taking you on a step-by-step journey through a typical day in court.  I hope you find it interesting and that you'll learn enough to navigate your next court appearance!

This is the US Supreme Court.  Most likely you won't be going here.
This courthouse is in Serbia.  You're not likely to be going here either.
This courthouse is in Orange County Florida.  For heavily-populated counties, your courthouses probably look like this
This courthouse is in Orange County North Carolina.  For moderately-populated counties, your courthouses probably look like this
This courthouse is in Orange County Vermont.  For sparsely-populated counties, your courthouses probably look like this.
Here's a sample of what we'll be discussing:
Today – why are you in court in the first place?
Next week – congratulations, you found the courthouse!  Now where do you park your car?
yikes, armed security!  Will they let you inside?
Even later – you got inside, but this place is huge!  Where do you go?
Later still – you found the courtroom.  Now what?

Today we'll talk about why you're going to court in the first place.  If you're a normal American citizen [and not, for example, a lawyer], you are NOT happy to be at court. 

Mr. Frowny Fish
Most normal people you see in a courthouse on any given day are only there because they have no choice.  It's like your general education classes in college, which you signed up and paid for because they're required, not because you had the slightest interest in them.
You've never done this?  I don't believe you.
The court staff and the lawyers are also there because it's required, but we're PAID to be there.  Not like you.  Most likely you had to take a day off work.  And it's also likely that the get-the-work-done fairies will not visit your desk while you're at court, and everything will STILL be there tomorrow and you'll be a day late in finishing it.  MWAHAHAHAHA

Wait.  That's a lawyer's curse too.  Drat. 
This is obviously the wrong photo
This looks more accurate
The four most common reasons why you, as a normal American citizen [eg:  not a lawyer], find yourself in a courthouse are because (1) you received a dreaded jury summons and all your efforts to get out of it failed,
Everyone's favorite mail
or (2) you received an even more dreaded traffic ticket and you were only driving one mile per hour over the speed limit and the guy next to you just passed you doing at least fifty miles per hour over the limit so why did you get the ticket and not him and you are not just going to voluntarily pay this extortion and how can you even get a speeding ticket when you live in LOS ANGELES for heaven's sake,
The red taillights are a good indicator that you're in Los Angeles now
or (3) you are suing or being sued in small claims court, or (4) you and your spouse are divorcing.

It's no wonder you're not happy to be in court.

Yep, this is what you look like
Let me know in the comments the reason why YOU were in court!

Next week:  You found the courthouse.  Now where do you park?

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