Excuses 2019: I'm not an alcoholic. I swear I was hosting a party.
Excuses 2020: I didn't host a party. I'm just an alcoholic.
Words of wisdom from the front lines:
The coffee tastes better if the latrines are downstream from the encampment
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
Replied the governor "Well, its OK with me if its OK with the undertaker."
Need some cold weather!