Jokes of the week for May 25!

Today is Memorial Day.  First, take time to remember those who died for our country.
 

Pandemic joke:

Day 1: I've stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for at least 3 months, maybe longer, so I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes for this pandemic to be over.

Day 1 plus 45 minutes: I'm in the supermarket because I wanted a Twix bar.

Military joke:

Two crows were flying lazily, minding their own business and enjoying the scenery. All of a sudden out of the blue an F/A-18E/F Super Hornet goes screaming past, barely missing the now somersaulting and wildly flapping crows. 

"OMG!" exclaims one crow in surprise. "He was sure moving!" 

The other crow replies: "You would be too if you had two backsides and both of them were on fire!"

Legal joke:

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
 
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
 
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
 
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
 
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

Random Photo:

This dog is tired of quarantine