Nurse: Your COVID-19 test came back positive.
Patient: That can't be right. I have more than 300 rolls of toilet paper.
A Drill Sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said: "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied: "Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line."
Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of Heaven, accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day. The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who escorted him to his quarters. The room was somewhat shabby and small, similar to that found in a low grade Motel 6 type establishment. The lawyer was then taken to his room, which was a palatial suite including a private swimming pool, a garden, and a terrace overlooking the Gates.
The attorney was somewhat taken aback, and told St. Peter, "I'm really quite surprised at these rooms, seeing as how the Pope was given such small accommodations." St. Peter replied, "We have over a hundred Popes here, and we're really very bored with them. We've never had a lawyer."
|How many birds are in this photo?|