So, after this quarantine, will the producers of “My 600-Pound Life” just find me or do I find them?
Military joke:
What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a fighter jet?
The jet stops whining once you turn the engine off.
Legal joke:
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz. After a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day, Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the trial.
"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?"
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."
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